Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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