Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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