Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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