you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
