I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
