I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize