Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
