6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
