I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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