so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
