I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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