I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
