he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
