I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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