Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
