i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
