PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish i was in the wii world.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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