Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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