brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Who died my cat blue again?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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