if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
