I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
