he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
