Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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