For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
