Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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