My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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