I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's shark week go big or go home
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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