My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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