the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
