Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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