i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
