I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You can't just leave with hair like that
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
