Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize