Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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