I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dignity is for republicans.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
