i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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