I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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