Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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