Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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