i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
