i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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