We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
