she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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