im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
