Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Say something about gay babies.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
