Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
