I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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