Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
