i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
