Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
