Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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