He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
