Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
