Soap is not a condiment
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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