Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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