Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Drake has all the answers
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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