The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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