Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
