Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
