weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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