Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
