I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
