I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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