Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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